my 6-year-olds were upset because i taught them ‘television’ and they were like NO TEACHER IT’S A TV
so i wrote ‘television’ on the board and highlighted “T” and “V” and they reacted like i’d just taught them the secrets of the universe
once i went to the movie theater with my friend who wears hijab and while we were sitting down she turned to me and said “people always ask me what i have under here. let me show you” and proceeded to whip out two dorito bags, three hostess cakes, and a pack of gummy worms
I was just watching ABC News and they were talking about “Binge” watching TV Shows on Netflix and they explained
"Binge watching is defined as watching at least 3 episodes in one day."
Awww, how cute
I’ve finished entire seasons in a day…
*tumblr collectively laughs*
sometimes I get really stressed out because my body doesn’t match society’s expectations of beauty and sex appeal
and one night I was complaining about it to my sister and she said
"It’s not very punk rock to meet society’s expectations"
I think she changed my life
Your sister is my role model
The fact that Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian Mckellen are best friends in real life makes me so happy
My goal is to find a friendship like this with someone special.
Sorting Hat: But where to put you?
Harry: *whispers* Not Slytherin, not Slytherin…
Sorting Hat: NOT SLYTHERIN, EH?
Slytherin House: …
Slytherin House: …
Slytherin House: Dude. Not cool.
i have an idea for a website:
alright, you know how 7 people in the world are supposed to look like you or whatever
we make this website.
and people upload pictures of themselves and add characteristic tags or something (curly hair, brown eyes, etc) ((idk something like that))
and we UNITE YOU WITH YOUR TWINS
LETS DO IT IT WOULD BE FUN
PLEASE CAN THIS BE A THING
kill your double
DO NOT KILL YOUR DOUBLE
Did they ever reveal how Captain America was thawed? Because I’m picturing a bunch of Shield agents with hair dryers and I don’t think that’s quite right.
one difference between cats and dogs is that dogs do absolutely nothing to mask their clinginess while cats pretend it’s a coincidence they’re in the same room as you 97% of the time
"The fact I am laying on your face means nothing"
if i die young bury me in a starfleet uniform
hell if i die old fuckin bury me in a starfleet uniform
If I die, stick me in an empty photon torpedo and launch me at the Genesis Planet.
marius humming the mission impossible theme song while he runs around paris searching for cosette
cosette enjoying the sun in her garden when she suddenly hears this odd humming noise coming from her rose bushes